Author: Openly Bookish

#bookblogger #hufflepuff #faith #writer Looking to truly connect and befriend.
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Dear Gabby

Openly Bookish

Dear Gabby,

Your case has captured the world. I’m just sad it had to be because you had to end up being a domestic abuse statistic. It should have been prevented and averted.

I’m sorry that the police didn’t see the real signs and save you. You were so distressed and upset, while Brian was being all cocky and chatty with the police. There was no real concern coming from Brian that you we’re having an anxiety attack of sorts.

My personal observation from watching the police body cam footage was disturbing. Being condescending towards a woman in true distress is infuriating. Gabby was petrified and her distress seemed to be played down instead of being taken seriously. A little spat wouldn’t have someone being as upset as Gabby was. If she was the true aggressor in the fight with Brian she would have been angry I’d think, but no she was extremely upset.

Your case has brought to mind that abuse is not merely something that can be physical. It can be emotional, psychological, financial and spiritual. Culturally we just think of it as being physical. How many are out there, both men and women, who are being psychologically and emotionally abused? No, physical signs that show red flags. This abuse can seem invisible unless someone is brave to speak up.

I hope your case will open the door to more conversations about DV and how as a society we can become more aware of the signs. You won’t have died in vain. Thankful your parents are working to help others escape it.

Book Review, Books

Carry The Dog

Openly Bookish

Some books burrow a place into your soul. Carry The Dog has done just that. The last page has been read and my brain is reeling from this novel. This novel is NOT for kids or teens. If you are sensitive to dark topics then you may want to proceed with caution. It’s dark. Pitch black, can’t see ANYTHING in front of your face. The only thing you can do is listen to the main character, Bea’s thoughts.

How do you survive a childhood overshadowed by a famous mother? To have a parent whose loved and hated by society for producing what she considers art? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but what if that perspective is twisted and marred?

Bea is on the cusp of the big 60 and her childhood that she thought was ‘normal’ keeps throwing her flashbacks. She’s trying to survive. One cig and drink at a time. Thankfully she has her younger sister, of sorts, Echo to keep her grounded.

When Bea’s ex tries to worm her into agreeing to allow someone to do a documentary on her mom she’s confronted with a past she’s trying forget. How does one process trauma? She thought ignoring it would make it disappear, but when Bea tries to confront her aging father, she realizes sometimes you’ve just got to dive into the pig sty and face crap head-on.

This novel tackles the intricacies of family on a whole different level. What is a family? Can a fractured one be pieced back together? Is it possible to pick up the shards of a disassociated self and make her whole again? How does our own perception morph between childhood and adulthood?

I received a complimentary physical and digital copy of Carry The Dog by Stephanie Gangi care of Algonquin Books and NetGalley. The views are mine and of my own volition. Thank you Stephanie, Algonquin Books and NetGalley. This novel is Gone Girl level on the psychological front. I almost couldn’t stomach it, but I’m glad I did.

Detox, Self Care, Social Media

Detox Week 2

Openly Bookish

Today is 2 weeks of me surviving being off of social media. It felt at first challenging to not want to log on, but now that I’ll be going into week 3, that urge is dissipating. I think I’m starting to get used to the silence. It’s like being invisible, though you are very much alive.

Will I return come January 15th/16th? I might. I might not. Will returning change anything? The only thing I see it changing is providing an easy way for people to stay in contact. That’s it. Will people reach out more when and if I return? I highly doubt it. Maybe I’m transforming into a pessimist, but when society lives virtually is it really all that surprising?

True connection has been turned into a little box to type, add cute emoji’s to match the mood and sentiment. Sterile. As a society we’ve settled for digital affection. Our brains have gotten used to our Pavlovian response to notifications. Will our virtual life get likes? Does anyone give a bleep? It seems we are gradually going from flesh and blood humans into technical beings. Is that progress? Honestly I believe it’s by design, planned and not an accident. We’ve become digital zombies and that’s what they want.

Detox

Detox Interview

Openly Bookish

Thanks to my BFF Ashley who inspired me to join her in a 90 day social media detox. She thought it’d be fun to interview her on how her detox is going so far. Below are her thoughts and answers to my questions. Enjoy. It just may inspire you to join us.

What inspired you to do a 90 day detox?
I was on my phone too much. Mainly on FB. It’s highly addictive and there is mostly politics on there. It’s really depressing now. You’re hearing you get reprimanded for certain posts. I find myself scrolling for no reason. Now I don’t see the point with FB, they’re silencing people. It’s become not a respectable company. Social media is addictive. Doctors have said it’s a bad habit of hunching over and people don’t talk to each other any more. For example when, having family time family members will just be on their phones. The evolution of technology is doing more harm than good.

Why did you pick 90 days instead of 30?
I think 90 is more of a challenge. Having a longer time to go without it is more beneficial.


What positives have come out of this so far? I’m more productive. I feel relieved, liberated and free. I don’t have the urge to check my social media. I’m able to concentrate on certain things. Now when I get off work I immediately plug my phone in to charge it and leave it there.

What negatives have come out of this so far? I find myself having the urge to check my phone to check the time. I only check my email and text messages. It shows how the addiction to technology has developed. If you don’t check your social media when you have it you may get anxiety.


What advice would you give to someone contemplating taking a detox off social media?Start small. For example try to set an alarm to only check your social media for a certain time frame. Get to a point where you challenge yourself to be off it for 90 days and see how it affects you, good or bad.

Detox, Social Media

Detox: Day 7

Openly Bookish

Well today marks day 7 of being off major social media platforms. Boy is it quiet. It truly puts into perspective how a lot of communication is strictly virtual via a social media platform instead of by direct communication.

Honestly it’s depressing. Maybe others feel like they want to give me the personal space while I do this 90 days of no social media. On the other hand, it’s proving that as soon as I jump back on I’ll probably get an assortment of “Welcome back,” comments. Though I’ve been accessible this whole time.

Am I going to return to social media? The depressed side of me is like, “I can’t not go back….how will people keep in contact with me easily?” The healthy side of me is like, “Why shackle yourself again to the addiction?”

A week in feels like it’s been months. That’s just how tough this detox is. And to think I still have a long way to go till 1-15-22.

Detox, Social Media

Detox Day 1

Openly Bookish

Recently one of my best friends shared she was going to do a 90 day social media detox. I thought that sounded like a great idea. A month detox is good, but a 3 month detox sounded epic. If you can change a habit within twenty something days, then you could really change a habit in a big way after 90.

It’s weird to be off the grid minus Good Reads and blogging. It feels like I’ve entered my own private cave and all the worldly noise is gone. It will be interesting to see if anyone directly contacts me. I highly doubt it. That fact alone speaks volumes about social media. It’s a communication crutch. Yes, it’s easy to update multiple people all at once, but is it truly personable and do people truly bare their soul online? Only the occasional person does.

I’m excited to see how many books I can finish by the end of the year. I doubt I will reach my goal of 100, but that’s ok. I just want to enjoy reading for once.

Book Review, Books

I Won’t Die Alone

Openly Bookish

Do you like comic books and/or graphic novels? If so, you might enjoy this short book about the end of the world that’s filled with different types of quotes with modern cartons of animals. Maybe it’s my mindset, my mood, but I know artwork is in the eye of the beholder. You either love it, or not so much. Sadly I’m in the last category. I wanted to like this book, but for some reason the artwork brought back Richard Scarry’s short story: Goodnight Little Bear. That artwork creeped me out as a little kid. I think for me it’s just not my personal cartoon style preference.

I received my complimentary digital copy of I Will Not Die Alone by Dera White and illustrated by Joe Bennett. The views are mine and my own choice. Please don’t let my review detour you. Check out this comic later this fall.

Book Review, Books

Petals Of Rain

Openly Bookish

Rica’s life draws you in from the very start. This memoir is poetic, dreamlike, yet hard hitting in spots. Rica shares her life with you: the good, the bad, the hopeful, the shocking. Her home life growing up isn’t the greatest unless she’s at her grandparent’s house. At a young age she meets a cute guy who she marries young. Here is her ticket to a better life. After a few years and they’ve got two little boys: KJ and Sym. The latter is a wrecking ball of anger that is hard to keep at bay.

Rica tries church to see if adding this social element will help her family. For awhile things seem to improve. The boys start to get used to going and her husband seems to be settling in. That is until the one time he seems to disappear after they are all situated in their pew.

When Rica’s husband gets verbally abusive towards their son that is her last straw. The family she’s tried her darnedest to keep in tact is having a monumental shift. No more house or life like she’s known. The boys aren’t too thrilled with the life changes, but it is what it is.

Following Rica on her journey to find herself and place after all she’s been through is insightful. It’s hard to put down her story. Rica is inspiring. She writes as though you are sitting across from her over coffee and she’s sharing her deep soul with you.

I received my complimentary digital copy of Petals of Rain by Rica Keenum from The Book Reality Experience care of NetGalley. The views are mine and of my own choice.

Book Review, Books

Chasing Wonder

Openly Bookish

Do you ever feel stuck in a rut? This world can feel that way. Especially with how world events are panning out. Chasing Wonder, is the story of how the author, Ginger Stache, came out of her shell to live an adventurous life.

Ginger’s life didn’t start out glamorous, but through outshe’s learned to say, “Yes,” to God when he leads her. Being the Chief Creative Officer for Joyce Meyer’s Ministries has taken her on countless adventures overseas to help those less fortunate. These different adventures have taught her that even in the moments when inside she’s begging herself to say, “no,” that by her, “yes,” Ginger has grown in her faith and gratefulness.

Witnessing others who live in squalor, but have a joy that surpasses any American is humbling. Traveling to third world countries was life changing. Ginger got to experience sleeping in a hut in Zambia with a wild assortment of insects and cringe worthy animals. I don’t know if I could brave having wasps and bees trying to get through my mosquito net all night, or finding a huge spider under my pillow. Hello, panic attack.

I received my complimentary copy of Chasing Wonder by Ginger Stache, care of Worthy Publishing. The views are mine and of my own will. This collection of adventures showed me that I can find adventure and joy in the simple every day doings of life. I don’t have to go fancy and pricy to get a worthwhile time.

Book Review, Books

Over It

Openly Bookish

If you are a girlie girl then this book cover is going to make your heart happy. Pink everywhere. I haven’t liked pink since the first grade, but it’s starting to grow on me.

Kelsey talks candidly about how growing up in the evangelical world there are silent expectations. If you are a perfectionist then this is a challenging combo. You may feel the need to measure up culturally and spiritually. Is this realistic? It’s not. It causes anxiety and stress. Kelsey tries to measure up, but never feels arrived.

College felt like it would be a fresh new beginning. Being away from home can make you feel all grownup. That is until Kelsey discovers partying. As a perfectionist she does it with abandon.

When Kelsey Mets Chris at college she knows there is something special about him. There is something forbidden. He is a PK, adored by his family and church. He was Mr. Christian popularity. Everything seemed all sparkly, until Kelsey realized the underbelly wasn’t all charm.

Growing up in the evangelical world, a woman has her place. Kelsey wasn’t raised to speak up. Things aren’t that bad she reasons. Abuse only counts if it’s just physical. Kelsey dives deep into what it was like to be in a toxic relationship.

I received my complimentary copy of Over It by Kelsey Grimm from Worthy Publishing. The views are mine and of my own will. I’ll confess at first I felt like this book came across a tad spiritually fluffy, but not to worry there is spiritual meat in this memoir. I commend Kelsey for opening up about her experience. If the topics of toxic and abusive relationships are triggering then I caution you as you read this book. Kelsey is a survivor and an inspiration. Thank you Kelsey.