Friends · Personal · Self Care

Whore Out My Heart

Lately I feel like I keep getting the word of knowledge to guard my heart. I am so needy for friends and wanting constant communication. I want to ideally be best friends with everyone and yet, those I’ve poured out a lot of my heart to have burnt me. I know no one is perfect. Life happens and friendships don’t always pan out, but I’m feeling fragile lately.

Why did I title this post Whore Out My Heart? Not a whore in the promiscuous sense, but in the emotional sense. I’m like a dang puppy anytime I make a new friend. I guess I definitely have an addictive personality, friendship addiction. I get so excited about having a new friend that I latch on like a barnacle. It’s unhealthy of me. I need to stop being so flippant with my heart and be selective in who I truly open up to. Not everyone is worthy, no matter how much I wish them to be. Yes, that includes family as well. Family doesn’t automatically equal entrance to my heart and soul.

My job was been busy lately and the energy coming off callers has been draining to say the least. Holding my anger in is challenging at times. I’m not a screamer, or yeller, but I abhor rudeness. When I get mad I cry, but that’s because I’m that mad that tears just have to come out. Someone crying or mad I get that. Rudeness just pisses me off.

Do I want real friendship? Yes. Quality over quantity. True friends, kindred spirits, bosom buddies, girlfriends, guy friends. Those I can trust.

I only have a very small amount of childhood friends that I still keep in contact with. Not all friendships make it from childhood to adulthood and that’s ok. It just means more room for authentic friendships.

Book Review · Books

The Six Gifts Part 1: Secrets

Olivia has an NDE when she is three by almost drowning. She sees this white light, feels peace and love, but then she’s rescued out of the pool. Through the years she longs to discover that peace again. Olivia is so desperate for this peace she felt she attempts to drown again, but it doesn’t work.

When Olivia marries Marco they build a life in NJ until she becomes mysteriously sick. At first her husband feels she’s exaggerating, but when he starts to get the same symptoms they go to the doctor. After many visits they find out their was a pipe leak and they were being slowly poisoned. This leads them to move to a new state for a fresh start, but to Olivia she begins to feel caged. Olivia and Marcos have two sons. One still close with them and the other estranged.

Via social media Olivia discovers her old high school boyfriend was in a fatal crash. Even though she’s long over this ex, Olivia decides to go on a cross country adventure with one of her dogs to his funeral. Marcos is leery of her going alone due to her health, but Olivia feels she has to go. Not only to pay her respects to her ex, but to do some healing regarding her family’s past before Marcos came into the picture.

This is Olivia’s adventure with her dog Tucker. Will she come to terms with her past? Will Olivia ever feel better? What really is ahead for her?

I received my complimentary copy of The Six Gifts Part 1: Secrets by Christie K. Kelly from Bruce Farr Publishing, care of Smith Publicity. The views expressed are of my own free will and strictly mine. This novel is rich in characters, location description (who doesn’t love the beauty of Colorado?) and a story that will have you begging for more. I know I’m wanting to continue reading more. This novel is fiction with a possible dose of magic.

Book Review · Books

Happiness Is All We Want

What do you think makes us happy? Is it our relationships, our jobs, our faith, our looks, our belongings? Author, Ashutosh Mishra takes this time old question and gives a very in depth answer in his book, Happiness Is All We Want. Mr. Mishra breaks it down by categories like health, relationships, spirituality and more. He explains how we have used relationships, careers and belongings as the end all, be all that will make us happy when any of those options can be gone in a blink of an eye.

This book gives a lot of food for thought. The section on exercise is very convicting and the part that talks about the effects on everything becoming digital is disturbing. As for the yoga section I’m not quite there, or meditation, but it was interesting to read about the different types of yoga.

I received a complimentary copy of Happiness Is All We Want by Ashutosh Mishra from the author. The views are strictly mine and provided of my own accord. This book was so in depth it took me some time to read, but you do want to take your time since there is a lot of information provided.

Book Review · Books

Quaker Quicks: What Do Quakers Believe

Have you ever been to a Quaker meeting? I have a few years ago. It was the most uncomfortable hour of my life. Everyone sits in silence unless someone feels lead to share something. When I saw this Quaker Quicks book available to review I couldn’t help, but request it to find out more.

This short book provides a few basics about what Quakers are all about. Interesting things I learned about them is that they don’t have creeds, or a governing church body. I discovered they handle their meetings to make decisions just like they do their church meetings. In silence. I found out they utilize different spiritual books to educate and don’t favor one holy book over another, though most do have the Bible on their table that’s in the center of the group whose meeting together. This book also, quotes a number of different Quakers regarding how being a Quaker has changed their life.

After reading this short book I want to read more. Each Quaker group are independent of others and they each have their own magazines and books they publish. There are some aspects of Quakers that bring to mind Unitarians.

I received my digital copy of Quaker Quicks: What Do Quakers Believe by Geoffrey Durham care of NetGalley from John Hunt Publishing and Alternative Christian. The views expressed are mine. If you want to read more about what Quakers believe I highly recommend this book. This author has other books in this series about other aspects of the Quaker faith. It’s readable, fascinating and most of all enjoyable.

Book Review · Books

The Very Worst Missionary

If you love reading Sarah Bessey, Elizabeth Esther and Nadia Boltz-Weber’s memoirs on their outside the box Christian walks, then you’ll adore Jamie Wright’s memoir: The Very Worst Missionary. If you don’t squirm at the occasional colorful language then you’ll feel right at home reading Jamie’s account of her family’s fore into being Christian missionaries in Costa Rica. Jamie holds back nothing in her candid account of what it’s like to go spread the good news in a country already filled with Catholics.

Jamie is honest in sharing how she came to faith as an adult, having been brought up Jewish and how she met her high school boyfriend who later becomes her husband. Having grown up a PK I don’t know what it’d be like to discover Christianity as an adult with little kids, but I think she describes how easy it is to slip into the stereotypical suburban Christian mom role. The only problem is that Jamie can’t sit quietly and pretend to agree on everything. Jamie talks about what it’s like to move to a foreign country with little kids and the challenges of feeling at home in a new place.

This memoir spoke to me. I’ve gone on short term mission trips as a little kid to Mexico. Jamie brings up so many important points when it comes to the question of if having all the American Christians come swooping in to save and help the poor if it is truly helping, or merely enabling a reason for a country to not have to improve because foreigners will come in to give free aid. The other points she makes are thought provoking. It’s great to help others, but do we really have to travel to foreign countries if we have our own countrymen who are in need?

I received a complimentary digital copy of The Very Worst Missionary by Jamie Wright from NetGalley. The views expressed are my own. This memoir is hilarious. I laughed, snorted, cried, giggled and wanted to shout, “Amen!” in agreement through so much of this book. One of my favorite parts of this memoir is the introduction of Knife. Best black cat name ever. I’m still shocked to hear a believer swear, but I’m not innocent in my use of language either. Sometimes a little flavor drives the point home, not to mention those parts made it even funnier. Needless to say I love snarky humor. Even snarky humor aimed at Evangelicals. I used to be one, but my faith has been somewhat of a chameleon.

Book Review · Books

I’ll Meet You At The Lost And Found

I seem to be finding books to read that resonate with me on a deep level. It’s nice for my faith views to be stretched like taffy. Meet You At The Lost And Found is one of those books. This book is the meat and potatoes of why all our outer quests for happiness are short lived. We are taught from very young to seek happiness outside ourselves which everything outside us is merely a temporary fix. We aren’t taught to nurture our souls.

This book covers a lot of information that can at times be tough to grasp, especially if you were raised Evangelical. Some of the topics covered range from what our Ego is and how it gets distracted with the pretty shiny things it thinks we must have to feel complete, to how to love ourselves without judgment, how socially we are expected to follow like lemmings, how to in the now, and much more. Even though some of the topics are challenging, this book is very readable.

I will definitely be purchasing a copy of this book, so I can highlight and make notes in it. Not many of the books I own get this personalized treatment unless I really love that particular book. This book is important on many levels. It helped me understand a lot about how my Ego sabotages my life, what self love is all about, how our soul (core of who we are) has been neglected and needs more care than we give it.

I received a complimentary digital copy of I’ll Meet You At The Lost And Found by Sam Glory from John Hunt Publishing, LTD, care of NetGalley. The reviews expressed here are mine only. If you love spirituality books that challenge you then you may have met your match.

Book Review · Books

Raising Faith

What would you do if your child could see people who have passed on and you aren’t a believer of the supernatural? Claire Waters finds herself in this exact predicament. Her daughter, Faith is shy and not one to boast of her abilities. When she is little Claire discovers her daughter’s psychic ability. At first Claire is creeped out, wondering if her daughter is safe with these people she can see, but Faith never seems frightened. To Faith it’s normal to her and nothing is wrong. This memoir is Claire’s journey in learning about her daughter’s supernatural abilities.

Claire does a great job of being forthright in her skepticism and how she goes about researching these gifts her daughter has. As someone who didn’t believe in life after death, after her daughter confirms she can see her grandfather, Claire is provided more evidence that helps her in believing her dad isn’t truly gone. He may not physically be there, but that doesn’t mean he’s not there in spirit form.

This book was fascinating. I can’t see spirits of people who have passed on, but I do know someone who can see angels. I believe this is a spiritual gift you have to be careful and mindful with. I do believe there are demons out there that can masquerade as someone you may have known and try to trick you. Not all spirits are good and safe. They are those that want to harm you. I do believe in life after death and I do think those who have passed on can send us signs. This book a bit out of my comfort zone, but I do find the topic interesting. I think children are more open to the supernatural because they haven’t been tainted yet by the world.

I received my digital ARC copy of Raising Faith by Claire Waters from John Hunt Publishing, care of NetGalley. The views expressed are strictly my own. If you enjoy books about this topic then keep an eye out for this title next year.