Tag: Family

Book Review · Books

The Love You Save by Goldie Taylor

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Life in East Saint Louis in the 70’s and early 80’s was rough for Goldie. One day at just 11 years old she is violated by an older neighborhood boy. Instead of her mom wanting to help Goldie get through such a traumatic event, she pawns her off on her Aunt Gerald after getting Goldie cleaned up herself. Life at her aunt’s isn’t much of an improvement from living with her mom. Along with a host of cousins, Goldie tries as best she can to adjust to living with her relatives. She always hopes in the back of her mind that her mother will one day swoop back into her life and bring her back home.

In school it is discovered that Goldie is gifted. When she gets placed in the gifted class she excels in memorizing poetry and works on writing her own pieces. Her talent is all thanks to her teaching herself to read at age 3. Books were and are her solace.

This book had me throughout reminding myself that I was reading a memoir and not historical fiction. Goldie’s life story is one of tough love, forgiveness, resilience, hope and love. If you are looking for a book on what inner city life is like then I recommend this upcoming memoir.

I didn’t expect to care about all the real life characters in this book. They weren’t all likable, but by the end I felt like I had been to one of Goldie’s family BBQ’s. Even though there was chaos at times there was in fact unspoken love given in the moments you weren’t always expecting it.

I received a complimentary advanced copy of The Love You Save by Goldie Taylor from Hanover Square Press, care of TLC Book Tours in exchange for my honest feedback. Views expressed are strictly my own.

Book Review · Books

Missing by Cornelia Spelman

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Memoirs are my favorite. They are a sneak peek into someone’s life. Missing is a short memoir of the author, Cornelia’s journey to understand her family’s dynamics, both her mother and father’s lives, as well as her eldest brother’s.

Family dynamics can be and get messy. Cornelia decides to investigate further after her elderly mother has passed, of her past claim that her son had attempted to do her in. Was it paranoia talking or was there some truth? Through researching her mother’s health history Cornelia starts to unearth more about her mother and her mother’s life.

There’s something that draws me to the Great Depression era. The author graciously included family photos and documents throughout her memoir. Getting to see old pictures of her parents lounging in their classic chairs felt like I got to step back in time for just a moment; to get to join them in their living room to curl up and read along side them. The photo exhibits warmth and coziness which is something in today’s society I believe is a lost art form.

This memoir made think of how much we truly don’t know our parents or extended family. Not everyone feels comfortable talking about their childhood or young adult years. Sometimes life is too painful. How many of us can say we know what our parent’s favorite color was as a child or what they wanted to be when they grew up? I know I sure don’t know either of those answers personally and that is sad. Our family history is aging moment by moment and if we don’t listen to those old stories and jot them down or record them then all that history goes to the grave.

I received a complimentary digital copy of Missing by Cornelia Spelman from Laura Marie PR in exchange for my honest feedback. All views expressed are my own and of my own choice. If you enjoy memoirs and family histories I think you will thoughtfully enjoy this book.

Personal

Rona is a mental cluster Fudge!

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Yes, I dared use the matriarch of all swear words, but sadly I feel in this instance it perfectly describes what’s happened and is happening. The world is being held in abject TERROR over a virus. Yes, there is a risk with ANY virus. This particular one has been showcased through MSM as THE one we all need to fear.

What scares me worse than Rona? What scares me worse than a touted deadly virus is how the whole song and dance is ripping us ALL apart mentally. Can you truly go out into society and act just like you did prior to 2020? Personally no I can’t. I may appear that I am, but mentally I’m going over that I’m not to touch my face and as soon as my rear gets home I need to wash my hands.

I know masks are a hot topic. Either viewpoint you’re damned socially. What people aren’t thinking of is how it started out as merely wearing one for 2 weeks which stretched to much longer to the point of making us feel that if we weren’t wearing one it was like we’d forgotten to put on our underwear. Social conditioning is a sly beast and we’ve all been had. I like to breathe fresh air and not take back in my stinky breath from wearing a mask or what feels more like a muzzle.

Haven’t you noticed how this whole event has divided us whether it’s between family members, friends, significant others, etc? We’ve allowed this to break apart our families, friendships, etc. It’s transformed some of us into elitists and others of us into rebels. A line has been drawn.

Wether or not you view what’s unfolding before us as the End Times, can you sense how world events are escalating at a more rapid rate? Things are turning topsy turvy and it’s a lot to take in. So thankful I don’t own a TV. No news propaganda needed in my home.

You may not agree with one word I’ve typed. That’s ok. I know this post may cost me friendships, but I felt it was time to broach the true result of Rona. It’s psychologically changing us. We’ve been conditioned on so many different levels. The saddest thing is people’s legit fear of hugging someone. The elites have accomplished morphing us into good little slaves to their propaganda. For the good of everyone, but how much longer do you think our ‘freedom’ will last before they unleash their next bag of tricks to reach their end game?

Would love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to comment below. Looking forward to dialoging with you.

**DISCLAIMER: I am NOT a medical or psychology professional. This post is strictly my own views**

Book Review · Books

Red Lip Theology

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The title sucked me in and the contents through me out of my comfort zone like a touch down in a football game. This book dropped me headlong into what it’s like to be a black woman in the black church. I’m as much of a white girl as you can get, so this was a cultural journey I got to experience through the eyes of Candice.

The author was raised by her single mom. Though they didn’t always see eye to eye they still loved each other throughout their disagreements and tears. When suddenly Candice’s mom passes she discovers just how toxic the church can be when she was needing her church family the most.

This book is Candice’s faith journey, her experience of the being raised in the black church and how it shaped her. Not only does Candice share about how she’s come into her own faith, but how stepping outside the spiritual system she was raised in has helped her grow in ways she wasn’t expecting.

I’ll be honest. I facilitated between agreeing one moment and the next trying to not be horrified. I have had my own outside of the box journey and dipped my toe in areas of spirituality that I’ve skedaddled from in abject fear and repentance. We won’t know otherwise unless we explore. It’s not easy to decide to journey to what can be viewed as the wrong side of the spiritual tracks.

I received my complimentary digital copy of Red Lip Theology by Candice Marie Benbow from Convergent Books, care of NetGalley. The views shared are mine and fully my choice. If you are looking for a book on faith that will challenge your old school ways then I recommend checking out this upcoming 2022 title. I think I’m still mentally processing all I’ve read. Thank you for being bold when others would rather you be silent. Thank you Candice.

Personal

Dear Gabby

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Dear Gabby,

Your case has captured the world. I’m just sad it had to be because you had to end up being a domestic abuse statistic. It should have been prevented and averted.

I’m sorry that the police didn’t see the real signs and save you. You were so distressed and upset, while Brian was being all cocky and chatty with the police. There was no real concern coming from Brian that you we’re having an anxiety attack of sorts.

My personal observation from watching the police body cam footage was disturbing. Being condescending towards a woman in true distress is infuriating. Gabby was petrified and her distress seemed to be played down instead of being taken seriously. A little spat wouldn’t have someone being as upset as Gabby was. If she was the true aggressor in the fight with Brian she would have been angry I’d think, but no she was extremely upset.

Your case has brought to mind that abuse is not merely something that can be physical. It can be emotional, psychological, financial and spiritual. Culturally we just think of it as being physical. How many are out there, both men and women, who are being psychologically and emotionally abused? No, physical signs that show red flags. This abuse can seem invisible unless someone is brave to speak up.

I hope your case will open the door to more conversations about DV and how as a society we can become more aware of the signs. You won’t have died in vain. Thankful your parents are working to help others escape it.

Book Review · Books

Carry The Dog

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Some books burrow a place into your soul. Carry The Dog has done just that. The last page has been read and my brain is reeling from this novel. This novel is NOT for kids or teens. If you are sensitive to dark topics then you may want to proceed with caution. It’s dark. Pitch black, can’t see ANYTHING in front of your face. The only thing you can do is listen to the main character, Bea’s thoughts.

How do you survive a childhood overshadowed by a famous mother? To have a parent whose loved and hated by society for producing what she considers art? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but what if that perspective is twisted and marred?

Bea is on the cusp of the big 60 and her childhood that she thought was ‘normal’ keeps throwing her flashbacks. She’s trying to survive. One cig and drink at a time. Thankfully she has her younger sister, of sorts, Echo to keep her grounded.

When Bea’s ex tries to worm her into agreeing to allow someone to do a documentary on her mom she’s confronted with a past she’s trying forget. How does one process trauma? She thought ignoring it would make it disappear, but when Bea tries to confront her aging father, she realizes sometimes you’ve just got to dive into the pig sty and face crap head-on.

This novel tackles the intricacies of family on a whole different level. What is a family? Can a fractured one be pieced back together? Is it possible to pick up the shards of a disassociated self and make her whole again? How does our own perception morph between childhood and adulthood?

I received a complimentary physical and digital copy of Carry The Dog by Stephanie Gangi care of Algonquin Books and NetGalley. The views are mine and of my own volition. Thank you Stephanie, Algonquin Books and NetGalley. This novel is Gone Girl level on the psychological front. I almost couldn’t stomach it, but I’m glad I did.

Detox

Detox Interview

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Thanks to my BFF Ashley who inspired me to join her in a 90 day social media detox. She thought it’d be fun to interview her on how her detox is going so far. Below are her thoughts and answers to my questions. Enjoy. It just may inspire you to join us.

What inspired you to do a 90 day detox?
I was on my phone too much. Mainly on FB. It’s highly addictive and there is mostly politics on there. It’s really depressing now. You’re hearing you get reprimanded for certain posts. I find myself scrolling for no reason. Now I don’t see the point with FB, they’re silencing people. It’s become not a respectable company. Social media is addictive. Doctors have said it’s a bad habit of hunching over and people don’t talk to each other any more. For example when, having family time family members will just be on their phones. The evolution of technology is doing more harm than good.

Why did you pick 90 days instead of 30?
I think 90 is more of a challenge. Having a longer time to go without it is more beneficial.


What positives have come out of this so far? I’m more productive. I feel relieved, liberated and free. I don’t have the urge to check my social media. I’m able to concentrate on certain things. Now when I get off work I immediately plug my phone in to charge it and leave it there.

What negatives have come out of this so far? I find myself having the urge to check my phone to check the time. I only check my email and text messages. It shows how the addiction to technology has developed. If you don’t check your social media when you have it you may get anxiety.


What advice would you give to someone contemplating taking a detox off social media?Start small. For example try to set an alarm to only check your social media for a certain time frame. Get to a point where you challenge yourself to be off it for 90 days and see how it affects you, good or bad.

Book Review · Books

Petals Of Rain

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Rica’s life draws you in from the very start. This memoir is poetic, dreamlike, yet hard hitting in spots. Rica shares her life with you: the good, the bad, the hopeful, the shocking. Her home life growing up isn’t the greatest unless she’s at her grandparent’s house. At a young age she meets a cute guy who she marries young. Here is her ticket to a better life. After a few years and they’ve got two little boys: KJ and Sym. The latter is a wrecking ball of anger that is hard to keep at bay.

Rica tries church to see if adding this social element will help her family. For awhile things seem to improve. The boys start to get used to going and her husband seems to be settling in. That is until the one time he seems to disappear after they are all situated in their pew.

When Rica’s husband gets verbally abusive towards their son that is her last straw. The family she’s tried her darnedest to keep in tact is having a monumental shift. No more house or life like she’s known. The boys aren’t too thrilled with the life changes, but it is what it is.

Following Rica on her journey to find herself and place after all she’s been through is insightful. It’s hard to put down her story. Rica is inspiring. She writes as though you are sitting across from her over coffee and she’s sharing her deep soul with you.

I received my complimentary digital copy of Petals of Rain by Rica Keenum from The Book Reality Experience care of NetGalley. The views are mine and of my own choice.

Book Review · Books

Over It

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If you are a girlie girl then this book cover is going to make your heart happy. Pink everywhere. I haven’t liked pink since the first grade, but it’s starting to grow on me.

Kelsey talks candidly about how growing up in the evangelical world there are silent expectations. If you are a perfectionist then this is a challenging combo. You may feel the need to measure up culturally and spiritually. Is this realistic? It’s not. It causes anxiety and stress. Kelsey tries to measure up, but never feels arrived.

College felt like it would be a fresh new beginning. Being away from home can make you feel all grownup. That is until Kelsey discovers partying. As a perfectionist she does it with abandon.

When Kelsey Mets Chris at college she knows there is something special about him. There is something forbidden. He is a PK, adored by his family and church. He was Mr. Christian popularity. Everything seemed all sparkly, until Kelsey realized the underbelly wasn’t all charm.

Growing up in the evangelical world, a woman has her place. Kelsey wasn’t raised to speak up. Things aren’t that bad she reasons. Abuse only counts if it’s just physical. Kelsey dives deep into what it was like to be in a toxic relationship.

I received my complimentary copy of Over It by Kelsey Grimm from Worthy Publishing. The views are mine and of my own will. I’ll confess at first I felt like this book came across a tad spiritually fluffy, but not to worry there is spiritual meat in this memoir. I commend Kelsey for opening up about her experience. If the topics of toxic and abusive relationships are triggering then I caution you as you read this book. Kelsey is a survivor and an inspiration. Thank you Kelsey.

Book Review · Books

Holy Hot Mess

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Christianity can scream for perfection, especially when it comes to women having to come across perfect in their looks, life and schedule. I’ll confess. I like to look at the author photo. I wasn’t disappointed. The author, Mary Katherine is stunning. Honestly I was afraid I was in for one of those cheesy, feel good Christian books. I wasn’t wrong. MK’s book is one of those such books, but it’s not all warm fuzzies and hot cocoa.

MK tackles some deep topics. There are topics that I can really relate to. The chapter on growing up and wanting to be accepted and be friends with a particular girl at school, well I’ve been there and got burnt as well. Going to church and not being in the mood to go? Yes, I am guilty of that more times than I can count. But you know what? I miss that family atmosphere. Yes, there is always going to be church drama. Imperfect people crammed into one building all trying to learn about God, Christ and the Holy Spirit that equals a recipe for spiritual/faith drama.

I loved Holy Hot Mess. MK never is condescending or uppity, she gets right across from us and shares her heart, soul and some extra leftovers because she doesn’t want any of her readers to be left hungry or left out. She is funny, serious, vulnerable and most important readable. She doesn’t dumb down the tough subjects, but her writing is conversational, personable and memorable.

I received my complimentary copy of Holy Hot Mess by Mary Katherine Backstrom from Worthy Publishing. Views are my own and my own choice. I am so thankful I got to read this book. I love getting to discover new favorite authors. Thank you Worthy and thank you MK. I can’t wait to go read more of your books.