Personal · Self Care

No Words

Sometimes you aren’t prepared. This morning my partner mentioned someone had died. I was trying to guess who it might have been. I was not ready for what he showed me.

When he showed me the news headline I immediately cried out, “What? Nooo.” I instantly burst into ugly sobs. I rarely sob. Sobbing at 5AM is not a fun way to ring in a Friday. No, I didn’t know Anthony Bourdain personally. I watched his shows “No Reservations,” and “Parts Unknown”. I’ve watched them many times.

Tony’s shows are funny, heartfelt, snarky at times and make you want to travel the world. He is blunt in his verbiage, but has a heart for people. Tony won’t be forgotten.

It was hard to concentrate at work earlier today because I kept thinking of Tony and wondering why. Why choose to bow out when what ever was ailing him could be resolved with time and patience? I know so many of us struggle with depression. We keep moving forward with smiles plastered on, not letting everyone see behind our perfect looking masks. I don’t know the reasons. We may never know. His own daughter may never know why her dad chose to leave early. I can’t fathom her heartache today.

One thing I do know is Anthony is loved by so many and respected as a chef, author, travel host, Dad, boyfriend, friend, etc. He was a big life figure in the culinary and travel industry.

Part of me wants to curl up in a ball and just sob. This untimely death has hit me hard. I cried more over James Gandolfini. It took me months before I could watch or hear the theme intro song to, “Sopranos.” I usually don’t get this emotional over a celebrity, but these two figures made a giant impact on our world and their passing have left holes in our hearts.

We may not know how we impact others lives, but we do. Even someone we just smile at in passing. That one act of positivity could make someone’s day, it could let them know they are seen and loved.

I hope you are resting in peace Tony. You are loved and admired by many. I am just sad you choose to leave early when you had so much more life to live. You blessed more people than you’ll ever know.

4 thoughts on “No Words

  1. My partner was a huge fan of his, so we are feeling it as well. 😦 I hope he knows peace now. It is so sad, but just shows we never know what someone is dealing with in their life. If you need an ear, feel free to message me over on Twitter. I will gladly listen, this goes for more than just you, anyone that reads this and needs an ear, please reach out so something like this can hopefully be prevented.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I never saw any of his shows so I don’t know much about him, but it’s always sad when someone chooses to end their life. The death of Robin Williams affected me in a similar way, so I understand how you’re feeling. I wish there was more research into depression and more support available. So many people are suffering in silence.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree Tizzy. I think also, working in the media spotlight you are expected to come across all put together vs being honest with how you are truly doing. I’m still sad Tony chose to leave early. I can’t believe a week has already passed. Like the blink of an eye. I remember being shocked and saddened over Robin William’s passing, but Tony’s death hit me harder.


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